The Wonderful Gift of "Non"

Usually Christmas is a season of draining the bank account and filling the home with stuff. Stuff you don't need. Stuff you don't have room for. Stuff you feel guilty getting rid of because it was a gift. Now don't get me wrong, I like spending money and I love getting stuff. I really love spending money and giving stuff. Trouble is, so does my best friend, Melody.

We've spent years (and countless dollars) giving each other stuff. Stuff we loooove. Fun stuff; awesome stuff; sometimes even useful stuff. All this time we've been hoarding and stockpiling this stuff. Sadly, it's come to the point where our families have had to move into tents in the backyard to make room for the stuff. They held an intervention.

Melody and I have had to admit our addiction and face a sad truth: human beings really can have too much kitsch. I know, I know... it's hard to believe. But it's true. So this year Melody and I have made a pact. We've decided to break the damaging cycle of seeing awesome things and then buying them for each other.

The enabling must stop.  Unfortunately, we've not found a deserted island where we can live throughout this frantic season in order to avoid the temptation.

What we have done is discovered the wonder of Modern Technology. Oh, sweet Smart Phone, let me hold you in my hand and look upon my salvation! Wonderous Craigslist, E-Bay and Overstock.com! We praise thee for thy many bounties.

Melody and I have discovered a way to give free rein to our stuff-gathering instincts--the compulsion to ooo and aah over baubles, bangles and shell-covered knick-knacks--yet not feed our disease. We can seek out the unique, the shockingly tacky, the feral occurrences of creative commerce and wallow in their coolness without bowing at the altar of consumption. It's brilliant. Really, you're going to love this idea.

We call it "Non." Instead of actually buying this coolness and then paying to ship it off to each other, we will simply snap a quick photo or click on a link, then merely send that.

We give a Non-Gift! Oh, but our souls are fed, our faces have smiles, our husbands rejoice, and our offspring have closet space. The tent in the backyard may come down. No grocery money is wasted, no credit cards employed, and they've cancelled our appearance on Hoarders. We've found the true spirit of Non-Giving and it's beautiful.

This whole thing, I might add, was Melody's brilliant idea. I'm nominating her for a Nobel Peace Prize next year. She won't accept it, of course, so I'll just send her a picture.